Tuesday, March 8, 2011

International Women's Day 2011 And What I Did For It

Today marks 100th International Women's Day.  Usually I take this day to talk about how I'm very lucky to live in a country where I have rights as so many women around the world do not.  I also talk about how thankful I am to the women who fought for those rights, and how we need to appreciate everything they went through to do that.

This year I decided to talk about something different.  I decided at 7:30am this morning after I watched this


It's about my label... and it's about a post.  A post that I have re-written several times.  A post I submitted to a few sites regarding my family situation.  No one ever published it.  I figured my story wasn't worth it then.  I made me think it was too harsh for others to hear.

Until this morning.....

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The Truth Is...  I'm a Single Mom

But I’ll never tell you that when I first meet you. Why? Because you’ll treat me differently. It’s happened before. It’s like the episode of Sex In The City when Miranda is trying to buy an apartment and she says “It’s just me” everyone is taken aback by it all.


I wasn’t always single, but at no point after my son was born did I refer to myself as a Married Mom, so why would I start calling myself a Single Mom? I’m a Mom and a good one at that! (cue the roaring crowd).

I love meeting people. I love hearing their stories. I dislike when they start out with “Well I’m a Single Mom” I just smile and nod. Your marital status should have no bearing on who you are. It’s about you, not who you’re with. If you are married and happy that’s great! If you’re single and happy why can’t that be great too?

Apparently a lot don’t see it that way. Once people do find out that I’m single I hear the most awkward things “but you seem so cheerful I would have never guessed you’re alone” or “do you find the holidays tough financially and emotionally being a Single Mom?” I don’t know how to respond to those statements. I usually just stammer something about I’m fine and all is well, but really I think that the person inquiring thinks less of me.

Really what is a Married Mom? Obviously she’s a Mom that’s married.

What is a Single Mom, well that’s a whole new can a of worms

She could have always been single, and raised a child on her own. She could have been married then widowed. She could be divorced with full custody. She could be divorced with split custody. The scenarios are endless. Great Moms are great no matter the circumstances. We all run kids activities, wipe runny noses, wash too many loads of laundry, and wish for a few more hours of sleep.

That’s the group I want to be in with. So The Truth is … I’m a Mom
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There is it my label about me being ME
Thanks to Mabels Lables for sparking something what would have been labeled as just another TUESDAY Morning.

6 comments:

  1. fantastic post Lisa, I will never let anyone else determine who I am!

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  2. Rossana [cdnmortgage]March 8, 2011 at 7:27 AM

    Great post!
    It always amazes me how little people seem to think before they speak.

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  3. Glad you posted it :) It's awesome

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  4. " If you are married and happy that’s great! If you’re single and happy why can’t that be great too? "

    It should be, It can be and by the sounds of it IT IS!! :D

    "She could have always been single, and raised a child on her own. She could have been married then widowed. She could be divorced with full custody. She could be divorced with split custody. The scenarios are endless. Great Moms are great no matter the circumstances. We all run kids activities, wipe runny noses, wash too many loads of laundry, and wish for a few more hours of sleep."

    My mom was widowed when i was ten and my brother 8, she then re married for years later,,,,was she still a single mom? She wasn't single anymore but he wasn't our dad either....thats one big can of worms that people don't need (and in my opinion have no right) to get into. As you say, being a mom is being a mom regardless of marital (or other) status

    great post!

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  5. Good for you Lisa. Glad you posted this!

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  6. Love your post, i totally understand where you are coming from. I actually have "single mom" on the "about me" part of my blog, I'm kinda proud of it, as it a hell of a hard job...lol. People's comments amaze me also, and yes we are happy, cheerful, and all the rest...personally if i was still married, i wouldnt be any of the above! Another line i get (when i say the word divorce), is "I'm sorry".....oh please dont be sorry, best move i ever made to leave an abusive relationship.
    Thanks again....loved every word.

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